Just A Snip....

"Sweet Silver Belle"

    As I tried to relax and wrap my mind around what the fuck just happened, I thought of the only thing that ever brought me peace- Cecilia. It was 1987. She was an RN. Pediatrics to be exact. I went to Harrisburg Hospital to visit a coworker who just had a baby, but I must have gotten lost in the endless hallways and found my way onto the Pedes floor. She could tell by the befuddled look on my face I had no idea where I was, or where I was supposed to be. “ Hey, do you need some help?” That sweet, sing songy voice ringing in my ears. I’ll never forget the first time I saw her. “Heh, yeah I guess I do. I’m here to see a baby. Well not A baby, my coworkers baby. They had a baby…” Smooth. “I gathered.” she giggled, and for the first time I was graced by that gorgeous grin. The smile that melted my entire world. “You’ll want the 8th floor, elevators down the hall, through the double doors and to the right.” Smirking, she whipped around and began walking, almost marching, back to her post. “Uh, actually…” she looks at me, “could you maybe show me? I have the memory of a goldfish, I don’t even know how I got here.” She sighs, shaking her head and smiling. “Sure.” We make our way down the hall and through the double doors, “So I’m sort of new to the area. Only been here a few days. If only there were someone to show me a decent place to get a bite.” I look at her accusingly, she squints back at me.  She’s quiet. Shit, I blew it. Stupid, stupid, stupid. I keep my eyes to the ground as I walk, feeling defeated. She pressed the button to the elevator for me. “ I’m off at six, meet me at 4745 North Front Street. But you’re buying.” She winks at me, her dimples scrunched. It was the best first date I’d ever had, and when it was over I just knew. She was it.

    I tried to stay sucked into the memory of her, but the gashes were winning back the favor of my brain and what it should be more worried about. The memories of my dead wife, or the punctures and incisions reaching the length of my body. Trying to distract myself, I wonder. What does this kid want? Never met him before.  I’m 100% sure I’ve never seen him anywhere. I would remember that face, those features. He wants something.  It’s not money, he would have just knocked me out and searched me out back, not being the wiser to who did it. Never have I been in a situation where I hurt someone purposely or been in a fatal accident that was my fault so I can rule out being the target of some twisted revenge by an angry teen. I’m not anyone's boss, never had the authority to fire someone so it couldn’t be that. In fact, I’ve been a lonely old coot since I lost my family. Been on my own for 17 years now. The only people I ever really had ties to left me a long time ago, so what the fuck does he want?? What’s scarier, what if it’s nothing. What if it’s just fun? God damnit. Then wondering is hopeless. I mean,  there’s nobody missing me, looking for me. Most of my family is dead or estranged and I don’t keep friends. Haven’t had a job in almost 3 years. Who's to say this kids not some escaped mental patient or juvenile criminal? Could’ve scoped me out and knew I had no one, which made me the perfect “good time”. Fuck. At 61 I’m not sure I’ll make it out of this, even if the little shit slips up. How would I even get out of these bindings? Of course he used duct tape. Then I remember the thing he shoved in between my teeth.